*gasp* SANTA CAME!!!!!…*looks closer* all over the presents what the fuck santa
"oh i forgot to make dinner"
"guess we’re having takeout tonight!"
i jUST WALKED INTO MY MOMS ROOM AND THERE’S A DACHSHUND IN HERE
WE DON’T OWN A DACHSHUND????
okay this dog is so sweet but where is my mom omfg
Your mom has been turned into a dachshund. It’s you’re responsibility to lift the curse.
Your adventure is beginning, my friend.
Fate be changed, look inside. Mend the bond torn by pride.
a CEO walks into his office “any messages?” he asks his assistant
“two anons want to know who tom petty is and one just says ‘post your ballsack’”
“got it. check my dashboard”
“that skeleton gif you like is back again”
he rubs his chin pensively “mm. reblog that”